I was just sitting down to catch up on some posts in my WordPress reader, when I realized something: my own anxiety (about 27658136450 various things, only 1 or 2 of which are legitimate concerns) is so overwhelming, I can’t even READ someone else’s posts. It’s too fucking overwhelming.
It’s a horrible feeling, anxiety. It’s like your mind is working against you; you’re a prisnor inside your own head.
So you’ve decided to heed my advice and embrace your sexuality. You haven’t gotten laid in like
5 10 months and sometimes you just need to verb the adjective noun (you can find more awesome euphemisms here).
So despite the fact the fact that I think I am the bee’s knees, there are also a whole bunch of other awesome women (and men, but I’m on a women’s empowerment kick) bloggers, writers, and social media activists (I think i just coined that phrase, but read on and you’ll see what I mean) out there that deserve a little face time for their awesome perspectives. After doing some in-depth blog reading this week, I’d like to present a few of the things that struck me most, enjoy!
Here’s the skinny on how to get the perfect bathing suit body:
1. Go to Target or whatever, buy a bathing suit.
2. Go home, check to make sure your body is still intact. All there? Great, keep reading.
3. Put on bathing suit.
4. Go to body of water or music festival or whatever.
5. Walk around like a total badass. Get a tan. Most importantly, be sure to tell any haters to fuck off.
I cry a lot. I guess you could call me a crybaby, because I’m a big bawling mess when I’m feeling any emotion too strongly. Except happiness, I don’t generally cry when I’m happy, unless I just birthed a new human.